A Drinking Game at Grimmauld Place
by RebeccaRoy
Summary: In Grimmauld Place two men decide to have a drinking contest, one of these men is Severus Snape, the other is Sirius Black. Let's sit back and watch the fun shall we?
1. Chapter 1: The Challenge

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_Disclaimer:_

_I do not own the characters of Harry Potter, these belong to that wonderful author JK Rowling and the various publishing companies used to publish her works. I am however borrowing them, no not to make money but for fun and fun only. _

_Summary:_

_In Grimmauld Place two men decide to have a drinking contest, one of these men is Severus Snape, the other is Sirius Black. Let's sit back and watch the fun shall we? Oh and no slash!_

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Chapter One: The Challenge:

Sirius Black sat in the spotless kitchen of his ancestral home the ancient house of Black. Most of the house had been restored removing the evil that had seeped into the walls wall by wall turning the former horror manor into a warm and livable house. Crystal chandeliers stood in place of sinister rather poorly made snake headed ones and "electrical lights" replaced the gas ones along the walls. The portrait of one Phineas Black greeted all who came into the home instead of Wallburga Black who had been a foul evil woman even in a portrait. Warm mahogany wainscoting, cream colored walls, wooden floors that shone, all this greeted the visitor to this very friendly and inviting home now.

Sirius too looked better than he had a few years earlier, his hair hung in silky near black waves to his shoulders, his face was tanned and clean shaven but for a neatly trimmed goatee. He had warm gray eyes and a nice smile and he was clad in a light yellow button up shirt that was not very buttoned, a purple velvet vest and a pair of dark denim jeans. He was, as he liked to be barefoot and he was happy this war was finally over and Voldemort was dead. True many had died, so many had fought and he was surprised but glad to hear that those Slytherin children who had died had fought not for Voldemort but for freedom and good not evil.

He looked up and scowled a bit as another man came into the room, he tolerated the man but not much else. Severus Snape, head of Slytherin house, potions master and royal pain in his neck half the time. He was tall, though still four inches shorter than him and thinner too. He had long greasy black hair that hung to his shoulders, a sallow thin face dominated by his hooked nose and large black eyes. He scowled at Sirius but kept his peace as he took a seat and took the plate of flood Winky, clad in a uniform (not clothes) of a belted tunic hose, soft shoes and cap all in gray gave to him.

"Thank you Winky." Severus said tackling the food, "just got MacNair, not much for the Aurors to take in I am afraid."

"So you killed him?" Sirius said.

"No, Dora maimed him badly though, it was most unpleasant the method she chose, witches magic at the most painful level." Severus said.

"Painful for one of us ye mean." Moody said limping into the room, "she may be sweet but she is a scrapper, far more powerful than me."

To say Alastor "Mad-eye" Moody was ugly physically would really not do justice to how mauled and horrific he looked. His face was so scarred and savaged it barely looked human, gone was one eye and in its place was a vivid blue magical eye. His long grizzled gray hair hung about his face and he was missing a good part of his nose. The rest of his body was horribly scarred as well and most knew he had got most of his wounds not in battle but as a captive of death eaters. He had gone through hell and held no love for death eaters, however he was a good man despite all this. A rough one to be sure but he never did hold to torture, he was too clever for that as Severus knew all too well. He may have been treated horribly I his life but he did, beneath the fight and snarling exterior have a heart of gold, or silver as he was a Slytherin from a long, long line of Slytherins.

Next to enter the room was Remus Lupin, he was shorter than Moody who stood at five feet eight inches and he did not look like the powerful werewolf he was. He had short wavy tawny hair peppered with gray, a mustache that helped hide part of one of the three scars on his face (courtesy of Grayback marking him before he bit him) and he was clad in a navy suit and tie as he had just come from his job as Werewolf liaison for all of Great Britton. With him as a young woman who had bright bubblegum pink hair and was clad in tight acid washed jeans tucked into black heavy buckled boots a black Metallica tee shirt over a white thermal shirt and yes a spiked collar to complete the look.

"Ah Dora, good for you to come in, is MacNair alive?" Severus asked looking up from his food.

"No, he bleed out, I guess I forgot to cauterize the stump." Nymphadora "Dora" Tonks said, "silly me, however we got the last of them."

"I think I might want to be sick" Sirius said paling.

"Why do you act surprised?" Dora shot at him, "after all our wonderful family is capable of far worse…"

"Don't remind me, I think I need a drink."

"So do I." Severus said, "in fact I need several before I feel better."

"Yea will a bottle or two will calm me down just right." Sirius said.

"A bottle or two?" Severus said arching an eyebrow. "Raise you three or more, firewhisky."

"You are on, Moody will be pour."

"Very well, Remus what will you have to drink?"

"Jagermeister with coke of course." Remus said.

"Oh no we do not need a drunk werewolf!" Severus snapped.

"It takes four times as much to get me drunk than a normal witch or wizard, so I will not join you in the contest."

"Right let's see how much you two can handle." Moody said grinning.

With that Moody began to pour the drinks, taking the wands of the two wizards before he did so. Severus smirked at Sirius and downed the first shot of firewhisky with ease as did Sirius. It would be a long time before either ended up drunk, they could hold their liquor very well. Tonks sipped at the rum and coke Remus made for her and watched with amusement as Sirius and Severus matched each other shot for shot with no ill effects for a long time. This was going to take quite some time before the two even showed signs of getting drunk and she planned on being sober enough to see this.

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_Oh yea this will get good, they just started the drinking game! Moody is going to stay sober as someone has to but expect lots of drinking and getting drunk. Oh and this does need to be said, do not try any of this at home, or anywhere! You could get alcohol poisoning, end up with your roommate's mum or worse, out on the road without trousers on. :)_


	2. Chapter 2: Settling In

Chapter Two: Settling In:

There are several types of drunks, there are the funny drunks, the goofy drunks and the ones who lost their inhibitions and did crazy things, most people fall into this last category when drunk, few are mean drunks but these get all the news it seems. Moody's father was a mean drunk and it was the reason that he did not drink, not even after the torture and such he had gone through in his life (his flask was filled with either hot chocolate, or soda). Yet he did enjoy a good drinking game even if he would not be drinking. Severus was relaxing a bit as he kept downing the drinks and Remus kept the tally on the men. Severus had removed his outer black robes and unbuttoned his high collared inner robes. Remus had thrown his coat and tie over a chair and Tonks was grinning as she continued with her rum and cokes.

Sirius was quiet, he got quiet at the first stage of getting drunk, then he got silly and then emotional, but never violent. No not he, and right now he was matching Severus drink for drink with ease. Each had half a bottle of firewhisky (yes a bad idea I know) and were getting ready to head to a new bottle. Moody looked up from opening a fresh bottle as the door to the kitchen opened, he smirked as Severus and Sirius relaxed as they saw it was not Molly Weasley or any of the other women that would care they were doing this. Moody had seen this wizard's aura outside the door with his magical eye and knew who it was at once.

"Evening Malfoy, what brings ye here?" Moody asked the blond haired spy.

"I heard that MacNair was taken out." Lucius Malfoy said, "is that true?"

"Yup, I did it." Tonks said, "blasted off his manhood, he didn't know how to use it right so he did not deserve to have it."

"Ah I see, well thank you?" Lucius said wincing at the thought of that being done.

Tonks smirked at her "uncle Lucy", she had started to like him as he really had proven he wanted Voldemort gone and had changed his ways. He was a very good looking man, it could be said he was even better looking than Sirius even. He had a pale noble clean shaven face, intense silver eyes and long silver blond hair he liked to keep long past his shoulders. He was clad in the best robes money could buy and he called for brandy from Kreacher who was more than happy to get the pureblood wizard anything he wanted. He sipped at his brandy amused at the contest, Tonks poured him a shot of Jagermeister and slid it over to him.

"Try that, tell me what you think." Dora said, she was going to get her "dear" uncle drunk and she knew how to do it too.

"Gah!" Lucius said after he downed the shot, "what the ruddy hell was that?"

"Jagermeister, you didn't like it?" Remus said with a smirk.

"Well it is a bit of a shock, strong smell to it, like, sweets, Licorice really."

"Try it with Coke." Remus said, "and don't say you never had that, we all know that is a lie."

"Well alright, give me a shot of that." Lucius said.

Dora was only too happy to comply and her fiancé, friend and lover Remus was more than happy to help. They set Lucius up with a Jager bomber, Jagermeister with firewhisky (that produced a rather interesting result as when Lucius belched he breathed black fire) and when he had enough of that they plied him with other drinks. He was fast getting drunk but he could still hold his liquor and was a happy sloppy drunk and his stiff pureblood attitude was fast falling to the wayside. He was the first to toss off his fine robes leaving him in his fine white shirt, breeches and dragonskin boots. Severus followed his friend shortly after and he soon was in shirtsleeves, black breeches and heavy buckled black dragonskin boots.

"I love you guys." Dora said hiccupping slightly, her hair now several colors at once. "This is the best day ever!"

"Anyone wish to see some magic?" Lucius said, however before he could get to his wand Moody had his cane with wand in his hands.

"No ye don't laddie, not until ye dry up." Moody said grinning in amusement.

"Fine, I want some more Jagermeister, good stuff." Lucius said.

"Thought you did not like it." Dora said giggling.

"I never said that!" Lucius said, "Severus did I ever say I hated Jagermeister?"

"No, but you look beautiful, so like a woman." Sirius said giggling.

"I should kill you for that remark but this Jagermeister is really good." Lucius said.

Now there was a slight secret about the Malfoys, mostly the males, normally they all, like nearly all the Blacks had gray or silver eyes. Yet the Malfoys had a talent for changing the color to a very bright intense blue with intense emotion. Right now Lucius's eyes were going from sliver to gray to blue all at once. He was in a fine mood as he drank deeply and soon was calling for wine. Severus and Sirius continued their drinking game, not saying much at all but trying to prove they were the stronger of the two. The door opened and Moody looked up as one Harry Potter strode into the room a grin on his face his green eyes lit up with amusement and his black hair stickling up all over, it's normal state. He was clad in jeans and a Who tee shirt.

"Wow so this is where you ended up." Harry said, "how pissed are they Master Auror Moody?"

"I could light 'em on fire an' they would burn fer few years." Moody said.

"Hmm, well never thought I would see professor Snape pissed, he is not much different." Harry said. "A bit nicer though."

"That is because I am not drunk Potter." Severus said slurring his words slightly.

"Right sir." Harry said taking Sirius's shot glass and downing the shot, "wow that is powerful stuff, well I better let Fred and George know you will need an alcohol poisoning potion, or maybe two or three."

"Right Potter, off you go now." Severus said waving his hand.

Harry grinned and left the room intent on making sure the men did not end up poisoning themselves heading to where Fred and George were. They were stocky lads with flaming short red hair, merry brown eyes they shared with their mother and sister and they were identical down to nearly all their freckles. They even were clad identical in jeans and WWW shirts. They always had lots of healing potions on hand (made of course by their own hands) as they had a tendency to getting hurt, and they were the unofficial potions makers for their family. Harry relayed what he had seen and both Fred and George grinned, they had to see this for themselves!

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_So there is that, Dora is evil to get her "uncle" in a very drunk state but hey it's a perfect opportunity for her! I don't drink myself but I have seen plenty of family get sloshed, it's funny really, so glad I don't have to drive them home!_


	3. Chapter 3: Enter Tabby

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Chapter Three: Enter Tabby:

The sliver tabby had been sleeping before the fire when the sounds of laughter came to her in the sitting room at Grimmauld place. She yawned, sat up and narrowed her green eyes, she had to see what was going on. With that in mind she padded out of the room, down the stairs and to the kitchens. The cat morphed to a tall stately witch with black hair tied back in a tight bun, clad in a high collared long gown of green and very few lines on her face. She pushed open the door and entered the room to find several men clearly drunk with Severus Snape and Sirius Black trying to out drink each other!

She was about to speak to them but before she could two more men came into the room. Both were Weasleys and both had the trademark flaming red Weasley hair. Yet Bill Weasley was tall, like Ron and Percy and he, like them had blue eyes. He had the least amount of freckles of the family and his hair a long wavy mass of red that he kept tied back. Charlie, his younger brother was stockier and had so many freckles he looked tanned. Bill was clad in blue-gray heavy buckled dragon skin boots, jeans and tee shirt with a fang earring in his ear. Charlie was clad in gray dragon skin boots, buckskin trousers, dragonskin vest in green and light blue tunic.

"Wow, this is fun!" Charlie said grinning, "drinking game?"

"Aye, these two fools want t' see who goes down first." Moody said, "I am just helping them along."

"Nice, oh Lucius good to see you old chap!" Bill said patting the older wizard on the back.

"Ah you must be Bill, Arthur's boy! Such a nice man." Lucius said and Bill winked at Charlie, their father and Lucius did not get along at all. "Yes a real gentleman."

"Come pour yourself a chair and pull up a drink!" Dora said giggling, "no other way around!"

"We have a long way to catch up don't we brother dearest?" Bill said to Charlie.

"Indeed we do." Charlie replied.

So they said down and took a bottle of firewhisky each and began to pour drinks and started in on them. Remus was extra helpful mixing firewhisky with coke, orange juice (not the best idea) crushed mint leaves, rum and chocolate syrup. What was interesting was the fact that Harry, Ron and the twins did not join them, then again they probably thought someone had to stay sober to watch the house. Moody had drilled some common sense into their heads so that not everyone was drunk but him. McGonagall was enjoying her single malt whisky and she did not intend on getting drunk, if she did that well she feared she might end up in bed with Severus and he would be horrified at his actions even if she did seduce him.

Severus suddenly got up and walked as best he could out of the room, he was still lucid enough to use the toilet when nature called and that is where he went. When finished peeing he walked back to the kitchen and McGonagall noticed he was barefoot now and his shirt was not buttoned. She saw Lucius throw off his shirt and she hoped the men were not going to end up not only drunk but naked as well. That was something she did not want to see. Lucius was a strong perfect man, of course could he be nothing more? Severus was well she had seen him swimming plenty of times, she was glad to see that he had not lost weight as that was why she was staring at him, of course, to make sure he was healthy.

"I gotta pee." Sirius slurred getting up and tossing his shirt and vest onto the back of his chair. "Hot in here too."

"Wonder if we can get them to strip fully." Dora giggled, "that would be fun to see."

"Not really, no." Remus said contemplating his empty glass.

"Well I think it would be funny." Dora said smirking.

She looked up as Sirius came back and did not say a thing as she could see faint scars on his back, scars from his evil parents. They thought nothing of beating their eldest son from the time he was eight years of age until he escaped from home when he was sixteen. These were scars that could not be removed with magic and Tonks felt for her cousin. Sirius took a seat and started in again on drinking and Tonks wondered just how much these two men could handle. So far they had nearly a bottle each and did not show any signs of slowing down at all.

"Do you have any rum?" Bill asked Charlie.

"No brother dearest I believe you drank it all." Charlie said giggling.

"Brother dearest why is the rum gone?" Bill said.

"Um ask Remus." Charlie said downing his bottle of rum.

"Remus why is the rum…" Bill was cut off as Remus handed him a bottle of rum, "wicked, thank you!"

"You are welcome."

Moody grinned as he was having a grand time, oh he could not enjoy the drink himself but he was having fun helping at least two men end up so very, very drunk. He limped up to Bill and Charlie and took their wands as they were really too drunk to handle them at the moment. Bill would have protested but a nice bottle of rum quieted him. This really was turning out to be a wonderful evening as Lucius was humming to himself now and smiling to one and all.

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_McGonagall is not going to get drunk but she is buzzed enough to want to er attack Severus. I am not going to have the men end up fully naked, no I am not. However it is well known that alcohol can make one feel very warm, so the men, in their drunken state are not so shy about removing as much as they can get away with. If you can guess the movie I got the quote Bill said I will put you in the next chapter._


	4. Chapter 4: One More Drink

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Chapter Four: One More Drink:

Severus smirked, he could not help it as he knew he was going to win this game. Sirius's eyes were glazed over and he was having trouble even getting the drinks to his mouth. It was only a matter of time before he passed out cold on the floor. Lucius was lost in his own little world and what was worse he was humming. Severus wished he had a camera as he knew Lucius would break into song in a few minutes. As much as he swore he hated the muggle world he knew lots of muggle songs and sure enough right on cue he did start to sing, and for a moment the drinking game paused as Lucius, in fine singing form got on the table and began to sing.

_Ain't it good  
Ain't it right  
That you are with me  
Here tonight  
The music playin'  
Our bodies swayin' in time  
(In time, in time, in time)_

Touching you  
So warm and tender  
Lord, I feel such a sweet surrender  
Beautiful is the dream that makes you mine

Mmm  
Rock me gently  
Rock me slowly  
Take it easy  
Don't you know  
That I have never been loved like this before

Baby baby

Rock me gently  
Rock me slowly  
Take it easy  
Don't you know  
That I have never been loved like this before

Oh my darlin'  
Oh my baby  
You got the moves that drive me crazy  
And on your face I see a trace of love  
(Of love, of love, of love)

Come hold me close  
Don't let me go  
I need you, honey  
I love you so  
You were made for me by the stars above

Oooh  
Rock me gently  
Rock me slowly  
Take it easy  
Don't you know  
That I have never been loved like this before

And baby baby!  
Rock me gently  
Rock me slowly  
Take it easy  
Don't you know  
That I have never been loved like this before

Rock me gently  
Rock me slowly  
Take it easy  
Don't you know  
That I have never been loved like this before

Ain't it good  
Ain't it right  
That you are with me  
Here tonight…..

With the last line Lucius slipped and fell landing on the table and rolled to the floor. A faint "I'm alright" could be heard then nothing. Moody looked over where Lucius had passed out on the floor and was now fast asleep. He laughed and went back to pouring drinks for Severus and Sirius. Dora had long since stopped drinking as she wanted to see the end of this game and not pass out. Bill was so drunk he had passed out head on the table and Charlie was humming the tune to the song Lucius had sung. Remus was still drinking but still not drunk though he was buzzed. He had switched to WhiteElfElder wine and was enjoying this high quality wine slowly, it was not everyday one got to drink a bottle of thousand galleon wine.

"Give it up Snape," Sirius slurred, "you will lose know why?"

"Why do tell me mutt." Severus asked.

"Cause I am Sirius Black!" Sirius said, "you cannot keep me down!"

"You are going down." Severus said.

Sirius's hand shook as he took the next shot, his eyes had gone from gray to blue (a reason so many people thought he had blue eyes in the past, they saw him only in a time when he was angry or had some other intense emotion) and he was sweating slightly. He downed the shot and grinned at Severus who downed his shot and smirked at him. Moody poured another drink for each and those still conscious watched as Severus downed his shot and slowly Sirius managed to get most of it down. He sat still for a moment then slowly slid from his seat and passed out cold on the floor. To prove a point Severus downed three more shots and got up to bow when his legs gave out and he too ended up out cold on the floor.

"Well that was fun." Dora said giggling.

"Yea, now we better clear out this kitchen, Molly will not be amused at nearly naked drunk wizards in here in the morning." McGonagall said.

"Yea, love her cooking, makes this place fun." Remus said. "Dora I need help getting to bed."

"Of course." Dora said grinning as she knew exactly what to do with her werewolf wizard. "I will be very glad to help you."

With that Remus and Dora left, Remus taking his coat and tie with him and Moody, with a flick of his wand had the room straightened up. With three more he had the clothing that was not on the men freshened up, folded neatly and sent to the sitting room. He sent the men to the same room and walked from the kitchen taking McGonagall's arm, he would make sure she got back to Hogwarts safely and he would come back in the morning to see the fallout from this drinking game. It was not something he would miss for all the tea in China.

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_So many did get the movie where I got the quote from, so I went with the first person who got it. Can you guess where I put them? (Hint they are underlined). So I want to thank you all, one more chapter after this as the men have to face the fallout from their drinking game when Molly Weasley comes on the scene! Oh and the song "Rock Me Gently" is by Andy Kim and of course is not mine._


	5. Chapter 5: The Aftermath

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Chapter Five: The Aftermath:

Molly Weasley entered Grimmauld place to prepare breakfast as there was to be an order meeting here today and Sirius did like her cooking. That and she had done what none other could, she got Kreacher to work and helped him heal. If there was one thing she enjoyed most it was helping others and doing all she could to make life a bit better for her family and for others. She was a short pump woman with flaming red hair tied back in a bun, a blue gown and flower apron on and her wand tucked behind her ear. She stepped from the fireplace in the sitting room and stopped staring at the sight before her.

On one of the couches sprawled the nearly naked form of Lucius Malfoy, he was clad in breeches and nothing more. Sirius was curled on the floor clad only in his jeans and two of her sons were sleeping on another couch. Severus was sprawled on the floor, clad in breeches and unbuttoned shirt, his pale chest rising and falling in slumber. To say Molly was not pleased to see men like this was an underestimate. She was about go off on them when Moody came into the room grinning at the sight before him. Next to him stood her twin boys and thankfully they were properly clothed and they had several vials with potions each in their hands.

"Beautiful isn't it?" Moody said, "alright lads wake 'em up and give them their medicine."

"Of course good sir!" A bright and not hung over Fred said.

"Who first?" George said.

"Severus, then sleeping beauty." Moody said nudging Lucius on the couch who just smiled in his sleep and curled up on the couch. "Wake up Lucy."

Severus felt someone shaking him gently awake and he groaned as pain shot through his head. The night before came to him clearly and he tried to smirk but that hurt too. He opened his eyes a crack then closed them at the sight of so much brightness near him. He held out a hand for the potion and downed the hangover potion and lay back down for a moment. By the time it had worked its way through his system and he could sit up Lucius was awake as was Sirius who on seeing Molly had turned into Padfoot and was cowering behind a couch.

"Severus!" Molly snarled and he looked up at her with his best innocent face, "you are a professor and you, you what happened here?"

"A drinking game Molly, I out drank the mutt!" Severus said smiling up at her.

"A drinking game, then why is everyone else hung over?" Molly asked.

"Dora got Lucius drunk and Charlie and Bill just worked on their own." Severus said, "anything else happen I should know about Moody?"

"No, Dora took Remus off somewhere soon after Sirius passed out." Moody said.

"I see." Molly said just as Severus stood up and yawned, she had her wand out as the room smelled too much like men and she would take care of that, she aimed her wand at each man and said "scourgify!"

She proved to be very good with this spell, Severus was hit first and he nearly yelped as Molly's spell cleaned _all _of his skin rather well. Lucius did yelp but Charlie and Bill just grumbled as they were used to this as there was a time in their youth that cleaning spells were the only thing that kept them clean. Severus drew his shirt over his chest and started to button it while Lucius looked for his clothing realizing how much he had taken off. He was embarrassed and when he found his clothing he scrambled into it quickly just as Dora and Remus came into the room fully dressed looking very pleased with themselves.

"Where did you to get to?" Bill asked drawing on his shirt.

"We er, well…"

"I seduced Remus." Dora said proudly, "he is very good in bed."

"Well that I doubt anyone needed to know." Remus said blushing.

"Well even better, oh Sirius I did have Kreacher wash the bedclothes in your room." Dora said watching her cousin's eyes go wide, "best room in the house!"

"You were, my room?" Sirius said, "Moony!!!!"

"It was not my idea mate, she…"

"You are so dead Moony!!!!!"

"You know you would be more scary if I had not drunk you under the table." Severus said.

"I hate you Snape." Sirius snapped.

"Likewise, and Lucy, you have a fine singing voice." Severus said just as he finished drawing on his outer robes. "That was very entertaining."

He walked from the room and back down to the kitchen, Sirius was left sputtering in rage and Lucius had turned pink in rage. It was at this time that Fred pulled out a video tape and offered to show this to everyone who had not been there the night before. George knew they were dead but at least everyone else would get to see what happened the night before. They would never forget Lucius Malfoy on the table singing and to add insult to injury Sirius started to sing "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds", this prompted a whole new battle, that of wands and curses and hexes. But that of course is another day entirely.

The End


End file.
